People-Pleasers & Singing

by Bevlyn

It's rather weird for me to ask, "Are you are a people-pleaser?"

Many of us are probably not 'actively' pleasing other people at our own expense because we enjoy doing so. 

But many of us would probably opt to
avoid conflicts if we can help it.

And with any human responses, they usually lie along a spectrum of:

  "Strongly agree that I try to avoid conflict"
"Strongly agree that I do not avoid conflict"

My teachings in singing through the many years has led me to a discovery of how personalities affect how people sing. And it's a very real thing though I am not able to conduct any scientific studies that come with statistics. 

But here's what I discovered.

That people who have a tendency to avoid conflict (knowingly or unknowingly), usually have a harder time projecting their voices (be it for speaking, or singing)

They may feel A LOT of emotions for the songs inside. But when they try to sing, they find it hard to get the voice OUT. Just like how they may feel a lot of anger inside, but they are used to keeping it in.
(they may choose to swallow their voices and do not speak out).

Some people adjust the tone of their voices, or do things that they'd rather not do in order not to further aggravate the situation

(would they lose authenticity with how they truly feel,
and how they express their soul through their voices?)

It's probably not difficult to understand why
personalities affect singing, now that I've pointed this out.

Perhaps the suppressing of our own emotions and opinions in order to:

  • make others like us more, or
  • simply make others feel more comfortable (than they need to)or
  • to totally avoid conflicts

 ... shapes our psyche to keep our true inner voices IN and not OUT.

Singing is an extension of everyday speech, by the way.
And we've heard how people usually say "Sing your HEART out"

--> So it's all bundled up - how we feel our real emotions and express them in everyday life affects how we sing. 

When it comes to personalities, there is no quick-fix solutions!
being aware of where you lie on the spectrum is a good start to any changes that you'd like to make (IF, you'd like to make).

It's also true that swallowing our voices and changing our tone in order not to further aggravate a situation can be wise.

But if it is a chronic and habitual response, perhaps we can see how it would start to affect our general projection in speech and singing?

Before I sign off, here's a precious page from author Jeff Brown's book "Hearticulations":

If you'd like a quick session (face-to-face / online) to explore this further (and potentially get a 'break-out'), you're welcome to schedule a trial lesson. (I'd share how I get my reserved students to project their voices, and make you do so too!)

Happy Singing and Exploring your soul!

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